I was laid off, and I am supposed to be going home in three days to live with my parents. As a self-sufficent man, I m struggling with this. I have not lived with my family in 10 years. My parents are retired. My older sister moved back home with their only grandchild after a nasty divorce last year. They are getting along fine. However, I live alone and love my freedom. I date, but I am not in love with anyone. I have been in sales here in Tampa for the last six years. I was doing pretty well by myself, until this coronavirus outbreak. My mom called and asked me to come home when she first heard about the pandemic. I kindly thanked her but declined. I had been saving to purchase my own house. So, I am not struggling. However since the layoff, my savings has been dwindling fast. Considering my lease is up at the end of the month, I figured it’s in my best interest to make that move back home. When I told my mom I was coming, she screamed and hollered to the rest of the family that I was coming home. Everyone sounded happy. Then my mom said: “Don’t you come home upsetting your Daddy running up the utilty bill! You know he has high blood pressure, and don’t forget this is his house.” Now that made me feel some kind of way. Why did she have to say all that?
Later that night, I called a lady friend that I have been dating who owns her own home, and she offered for me to move in with her. She said she could use a little help with finances. Now I’m contemplating that but having mixed feelings about that move, too. I know I am not interested in being committed to just her, and moving in may be misleading.What should I do? I am going to put this ball in your court. Making a Corona Move.
Dear Making a “Corona” Move,
I’m sure most folks could use a little help with their finances in this environment. The question is: With whom will you decide to pool your resources? You asked why your mom felt compelled to make those comments. I would guess that it’s because in your past, you may have had an argument with your father about the utilty bill or may have upset your father in some way. I am sure that was before you became a self-sufficient, mature man. You already know that they are glad you are coming home, so you should not have been feeling any kind of way except grateful to still have somewhere to go with a family that is excited you are coming home. You should have laughed and responded to your mom like the grown man you are now: “Mom no problem. Tell dad I will pay the utilty bill.” I’m sure your dad can respect that and would appreciate the help. With your level of maturity, you should be an asset and not a liability. I am sure your father would love to have his son around to help with the upkeep of the home, especially during this crisis. Also, I am sure your nephew would benefit from your presence.
As far as making a “corona” move with a woman you date but don’t want, sounds like a wrong move. For the record, God is still in charge, and He does not like ugly, nor does He like people who use others. Don’t get me wrong, there are a lot of guys who move in with women so they can have a roof over their head with no intentions of being loyal. They are asking for trouble. I don’t think it’s right to use a woman. Have you ever seen some guys who--no matter what they do or what they make--just can’t get ahead? They just can’t seem to win. I believe it is because they are out of order and not under God’s grace, so they are not being blessed. Don’t let that be you.
Do not move in with a woman knowing you are going to be disrespectful or break her heart. Lying around confined with a woman you have been sexual with but don’t want is a big mistake! With nothing else to do, but screw and watch TV, you will be walking around the house like a caged tiger pouncing on every comment ready to escape.
Go on home. This is family time; make the best of it.