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Dear Girlfriend,

We are planning  to attend the Florida Classic again this year.  My husband  and I have gone for the last 12 years but I have made up my mind that I am not going again.  Every year we spend about $750 on hotel, tickets and eating out.  I would rather take that money and travel to see my family for Thanksgiving instead.  I’m tired of watching my husband’s lame a$$ friends tell the same stories over and over and over again.  If I hear one more sneaking in the girls dormitory story or marching 100 story I am going to scream.  I was silent all the way home trying not to be a bi*ch.   He kept asking me what was wrong.  Really there was nothing wrong except I was just bored and tired of faking it with them.  I am going to let him have tonight but tomorrow when he gets home from work I am going to tell him how I feel.  Am I out of line?

Classic Blues

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Dear Classic Blues,

No you are not out of line. You should always communicate your feelings to your spouse, but let me see if I  can help you rethink this before you mess up a good thang.  A lot of times, we don’t know we have a good thing until it’s over.

 

First of all be glad that he wants you to go.  That usually means he is proud of you and likes your company.  It’s a sure sign he is not trying to get back to any old girlfriend from way back then.

 

Know that just because you decide you don’t want to go anymore doesn’t mean he will not go.  It may just mean you will be getting left home next year. I know quite a few men who use the Florida Classic as “the boys get a way weekend” with no wives.  A few of the wives were cool with it until they notice their husbands were looking forward to their get-a-way.  It had become an annual tradition and they were no longer invited.

 

The wives also noticed that it was hard to reach their husbands . There were a million excuses as to why their  phones didn’t  work: it died; left the phone in the car;  can’t hear the calls in the stadium because of all the noise;  the music was too loud in the House of Blues; left the phone in the room; Reception was bad in the building; I’m around the boys I’ll call you back when I get to my room (but they never get that call because) I drank too much and fell asleep; I left my charger in the car, in the room; or let one of the boys use it and forgot it.  You name it, they heard it.

Furthermore, the cookouts always had an old girlfriend or an old wanna be girlfriend.  In their defense , Oohh they didn’t know that particular chick was coming, they can’t tell who can or will come to someone else’s house or event.  By the time their husband got back home their was so much anger and distrust going on it put a strain on the marriage.  The usual response or come back is, well if they have guys get away, then, we are going to have a girls’ getaway.  Any way it goes, it’s the beginning of annual over night trips away from each other, which is not good for any unstable marriage, especially a young one.  So if you don’t have a problem, don’t create one.

   

In a marriage it’s not always about you and what you want to do.  You are his companion and he is yours.   A successful marriage is full of compromise.  A good spouse knows this.  If your husband is happy, let him be.

My suggestion to you is, go but make plans to do things you enjoy too,  There are shows, celebrity parties, plenty of great outlet malls and tourist attractions.  Make plans to attend something and I’m sure he will be willing to go too.  Invite one of your girlfriends and her husband to join you or one of his friends and his wife.  Life is what you make it, so make it fun.

 

Your husband is happy, keep it like that.  Please don’t ruin his time sitting around looking like an unhappy sour pus.  Enjoy yourself, be happy.  To be happy is a decision.  If you are not sick, hungry, too hot or too cold, you can make up your mind to be happy.   No one ever said you had to sit under him or ride his coat tail every step of the way.  He probably wishes you would be a little more out going and interactive anyway.

  

You are really in a good place.  You should always accompany your husband when asked.  I suggest you go to class reunions, family reunions, company picnics and company trips, because I am sure there are a few alumni ladies hoping you  don’t show up.  It’s your job as a wife to be a companion to your husband and for him to be a companion for you.  If you know this is what he loves to do, endure it because it’s only one weekend a year.

Additionally, I have noticed that when old time friends get together, they get younger again.  Allow your husband to get that boost of rejuvenation.  Don’t be surprised to discover that you may benefit more than he does from that new found energy.  Heyyy!!!!

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