My daughter wants to get married and she is only 21. I am very proud of her. She has always had good grades and made good decisions but now she comes to me with this mess. She is presently in school working on her nursing degree and he is not in school at all. I told her she was too young and she should leave her options open. I know the family and they are a little rough. He appears to be a mannerable guy but I don’t see him doing as well as my daughter. I want her to have a good life. I wanted her to travel and be free to go see and do. I wish I had traveled and worked for a while before I married her father. I married right out of college and it only lasted 6 years before I divorced her cheating, unambitious, controlling father. I know you have girls, so I am sure you have thought about this from time to time. What do you think is too young? I don’t want her to make the same mistakes I made. Talk to her please.
Daughter Wants To Marry.
Dear Daughter Wants To Marry,
I am not going to talk to her. I am going to talk to you. I hate to disagree with you, but I believe in love and early marriages. It’s a beautiful thing that your daughter has someone who loves her enough to commit to her. Everyone is looking for love, their soulmate. I am sure you are too.
Nothing hurts more than unreciprocated love. However, your daughter has been blessed to love and be loved in return. That’s what I wish for all of my daughters and my son, someone to share their love, and bills with. It’s expensive and stressful out here, trying to carry the load alone. As a divorcee, I am sure you already know that too. You nor I will always be around. Everyone wants to be held and hugged. Those desires are normal. That usually happens in a young woman’s teenage years. How many men do you want to sexually know your daughter? Well, the sooner she finds her own personal mate, the healthier she will be physically, mentally, and spiritually? The more sexual partner’s one has, the more bull manure, disease and confusion they are exposed to. I want my daughter’s to at least consider marriage when they decide to act married. So, the sooner they find someone who they can commit to, depend on and share intimate things with, the better off they are.
Do not discourage her from marrying that young man. Your mistakes do not have to be her mistakes. She is not you and her boyfriend is not your ex. Sit down and talk to both of them, to see how they propose to take care of themselves.
Encourage her and him to get ready financially for marriage. Give them the reality of where they can live with their incomes and what they can afford. Be clear, your home is not an option, unless you need the financial assistance that they may bring. Make it clear you are not taking care of another child, her now boyfriend. If you sit down and do it right, they will be cool with planning and preparing for each other.
You said she was a good girl and usually made good decisions. Trust her now. She can add, subtract and multiply. Give her the numbers. Love has made men and women do great things. There’s nothing like having someone who loves and believes in you by your side. There are 4 things I believe a couple should have before they consider marriage: their own place, a car, jobs, and love. If they got all that, they have my blessings. Hey!!!
PS. I married at 19 and we have been married for 41 years
Power Couples Creed
Power Couples are upbeat couples who are visible in the community doing positive things.
Power Couples implement positive change and their community is a better place because of them.
Power Couples play different roles in their communities, some work with children and others with adults.
Power Couples are sometimes entrepreneurs, stepping out on Faith making it happen, creating jobs and opportunities for others.
Power Couples are oftentimes the lenders, and not the borrowers, it has nothing to do with how much money they make but everything to do with being a good shepherd with what God has given them.
Power Couples may be decision makers who hold executive positions and are responsible for the livelihood of others.
Power Couples are helpful and people have a tendency to come to them in times of trouble for advice and encouragement.
Power Couples make a personal decision to walk a positive walk.
Power Couples are not perfect. They are not immune to trials and tribulations and some temptations. They may have made some mistakes and bad decisions in their past but that does not define them.
Power Couples press forward and learn from their mistakes,
because they know they are stronger together than they are apart.