I have been married for 7 years now My husband is a firefighter. My problem is, he never has time for me. With him having the type of job where he sleeps at the station regularly, I’ve even gotten use to not having him in my bed. He seems to always be at work....chasing fires (as he puts it). The fact is, I’m pretty sure fires aren’t the only thing he is chasing because there is very little going on with us. I am lucky if I get anything once a month. That’s not enough for me. I feel I am too young and vibrant to give up that part of our relationship this early in our marriage. Im dreaming about other men and thinking about cheating. Do you think we can rekindle our flame or has this fire been extinquished?
Signed Feeling Burned in Brandon
Dear Feeling Burned in Brandon,
No, that fire has not been extinguished. It’s just dormant right now. All marriages have their ups and downs, the valley and the hills. The low points make you appreciate the climaxes more.
Now if he was your boyfriend I’d tell you to move on, but do not give up that easy on a marriage. See, he’s not just another boyfriend messing up, he’s your husband being negligent. He’s the boyfriend that thought enough of you to make a commitment, to ask you to marry him. And he not only asked you to marry him, but he followed through. A lot of men will talk marriage to a woman to get them where they want them, but never follow through or come up with the ring. That man loved you enough to do both. For this reason alone you have got to give this a whole-hearted effort to try and make it work.
What about you? Have you gained weight? Are you dressing up for bed? Are you wearing appealing under wear? Men are very visual, thats why theporn industry does so well. Maybe you need to get some outside interest to keep you busy until things heat back up, but don’t cheat. That can open a door tthat may be too hard to close. and totally destroy your marriage.
Recognize that your husband could have some health issues causing a problem with his blood flow. Has he gained weight? You should let him know you are worried about him and his cardio vascular health.
The problem with a lot of marriages is some men get married when they have done everything and are ready to settle down. They think that the good times are over. Well it’s vice versa for women. Most women feel I’m married now, I can try some of everything with this man, because he’s mine and he loves me.
Well brothers I hope this serves as a wake up call. When you marry, it’s not over, it’s only just begun and should get progressively better. Men do not take your women for granted. Don’t give away all the good juice and have nothing left to satisfy the one you truly love or you may find someone else doing what you are supposed to be doing. Because what it takes to get us, it takes to keep us. The older a woman gets, the bolder she gets and more comfortable she becomes with her sexuality. All that she would not do back then, she may do today and more. If you don’t believe me, ask a woman over 40 you know.
I am more than certain with a little effort and confidence you can rekindle that fire and turn the flicker to a flame. My advice to you is, pay your self some attention and maybe he will pay you some. If this doesn’t work, always remember, what one man won’t do, another one will. Try to be faithful but remember you are responsible for your happiness. This is your life.